I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
