This gyro tastes like lonliness
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
