and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
