I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize