Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis