based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pants are for mortals