I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.