We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.