...so i touched it.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.