they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.