I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.