I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize