I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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