Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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