Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
