Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
