meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
