K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the condom got lost in my hair
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
