hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think im going to throw up on grandma
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
