So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
