guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
