I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
