He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Mom said you looked used
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
