just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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