i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
