I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
