So drunk, too bad you don't want this
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
