Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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