I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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