so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
