If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
