are you still at the devil's house?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He felt like a one man threesome
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
