Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I came so hard my ears popped.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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