its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize