Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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