im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
