guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
