i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
