Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
