You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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