so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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