I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is