Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
