i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
