what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
and she was petting her beer can
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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