so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
there was a trapeze. enough said
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
