woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
