I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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