Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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