I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
