Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
