That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
