so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
