I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
