My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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