i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
