Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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