So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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