matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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