At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
