He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
