I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
