i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
