I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
