Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
