don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
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Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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