My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
