Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
