I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
