obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
