in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
