is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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