Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
