I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
