there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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