Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
